Friday, January 16, 2015


Friday, January 16, 2015

Lord, speak through me. No! Speak to me. Is my desire to be an open vessel bordering on pride that I would look past what this vessel needs before it can rightly pour out from You and for You? Why do I sit in Your presence waiting for pearls of wisdom to share with others rather than put my face on the floor and empty myself so You can fill me? Only then will I have something worthy to give out. Please give me discernment for that subtle pride that I take for anointing. It's not what I know, not what I have seen, and not what spiritual vision and maturity I might have. It is only You in me. I will sit in Your presence, consciously emptying myself of me while waiting for You to fill me with Yourself. I must decrease, and You will increase. Only then can I be Your true servant. I desire Your fullness. Therefore, I have to wear the cloak of humility.

Tuesday, January 13, 2015


My Lord really does hear my prayers! I asked Him to search me and show me things that need to change. Just since the first of the year, that has resulted in several pretty major changes. This morning as I sat in quiet worship, with a Christian song playing in the background that I had never heard before, He spoke to me in that inner voice so clearly.

'Bobbi, you have been straining your spirit to reach Me, to get closer to Me, to be more like Me. Don't you remember, religion is man reaching out to find me? My child, remember, it is Me who reached down to you and you accepted Me. Now you don't need to strain to reach Me. I AM already with you. Rest your spirit in that, revel in it, let it strengthen your being with My power and love. Use your spiritual energy to give to others, to love others, to show others how to live in My presence. As you continue to give out what I pour in, I am abundantly pouring back into you far more than you could ever give away in your lifetime. Enjoy Me, bask in the center of My love and grace that surrounds you and is in you. What you have been spiritually striving for is already with you. Keep fasting and praying. Those are of acts of obedience to Me that I cannot resist. Greater things are coming. Take My hand, I will be sharing it all with you.'


Sunday, January 11, 2015


Why do I pray for God to move mountains in my life that overwhelm and scare me? Jesus told His disciples that even if they use a tiny dab of the faith they have been given, they could speak to mountains and they will move out of the way! I've been going about it all wrong. Matthew 17:20 states that I  cannot just sit and pray, "Lord, come fix this for me," then just wait anxiously hoping He will do something soon. He has told me that I am to use the faith He has given me to move these mountains in my way. Of course, the Lord isn't saying, "Bobbi, you're on your own on this one, I'm too busy." He is saying, "Bobbi, I am your Power. Rely totally on me, step out, be open to follow my leading, and start moving that mountain."

I may have to get on that mountain and start moving it with a teaspoon, but with every spoonful, the mountain has moved further than the teaspoonful before. This tells me that at times my efforts will seem small and pointless. At other times I will be elated at the progress. As long as I move the mountain out of obedience, that mountain will move. My Lord said so.

So, I will grow and learn to enjoy the huge task of moving mountains. It is like taking a journey. I can't keep focusing on the destination, I have to take in the scenery, the beautiful things and the sad things of life along the way. This is what will make me grow and become more like my Lord. Maybe I will find someone along the way that hasn't quite caught on about mountain moving yet and I can let them come along in my journey. Maybe I will come across someone who has moved many mountains and will show grace to me by teaching me.

Regardless, I have the rest of my life to move the mountains of living in this world. The Lord will keep me on task. And, I will have my teaspoon handy, just in case.

Bobbi J. Craigmyle, Psy.D. 01/11/2015Matthew 17:20


 This is sharing how our God honors and works through a seeking heart that is humbled and hungry for Him. You see, that is part of what I need from writing this down. I need to get my cloak of humility back on the way it should be and to get so hungry for God that my life changes in the way it needs to do. Only the Lord can do that for me. I have to obey, but he leads. My prayer and purpose here is that something the Lord imparts to me through this might touch the heart of someone else and spark a fire.
If you care to follow along with me in this not quite a New Year's resolution, that is wonderful. This is more of a new start with a new year kind of thing. It's not a resolution, it's a lifestyle change. Feel free to comment. If not, I pray that the Lord will fill your hearts with the fire to seek Him above all else.
First of all, here are some things I believe the Lord has shown me as I prepared for this 2015 lifestyle change. I am typing it here as it came out of my heart and onto paper with pen.
To walk through this life only taking steps where my finite mind safely leads me, is to live a life of control by the world of circumstances around me. I am allowing myself to be carried along by this vast ocean of a world cursed and out of control. In the middle of this, I am asking God to bless my choices, fix my disappointments and unexpected trials. What I am seeking to change is my source of control from my own idea of what I should do, to walking one foot in front of the other trusting the Lord to lead me through all of the unpredictable ups and downs of this life. He is in control of all this cursed world that surrounds me and covers my path. In letting Him be in control, I will step forward in places that will cut away parts of that veil that cover my spiritual eyes. I will recognize His power within me to gladly follow and experience the good and the bad. He knows where my feet need to step. I am content and praising Him for every blessing regardless of how deep the water is. After all, He is in control of my life, not the ups and downs of this world, not the feeble attempts of my own design. This can only lead to a joy that cannot be stopped.
In seeking to be a spiritual leader, I have somewhere along the line lost sight of the fact that my faith is just as faulty as anyone else's. I pray with all this "perceived" faith to move mountains for Him, while in reality I am afraid to even go near or look at the mountain. The Lord has never told me to sit in my comfortable pew and pray orders to Him to move these mountains for me. He has told me in His Word that if I have even a tiny bit of faith, I can tell a mountain to move and it will move. (Matthew 17:20) I don't think I've moved many mountains, so how do I use the faith I've been given to do this kind of thing? He might want me to climb up a mountain and move it with a teaspoon. Abraham climbed a mountain. God never failed him. Peter took his eyes off Jesus walking on the water, and he fell into the waves. My faith will be strengthened by keeping my eyes fixed on Jesus Christ, not looking at how high the mountain is or deep the water is. He will get me there. I just need to learn and enjoy the journey.
Well, all that is very noble and deeply spiritual and it requires a lot of commitment and perseverance. I'm not so sure that's meant for me, after all, I am an elderly woman, (I have a business to run, I have small children, I have poor health, I am just to be a watcher at the gate, I'm just not qualified to deal with that sort of thing.) What a blatant lie from Satan himself!
What has happened to me? Those rough unlearned fishermen were faced with the worst demons from hell, the impossible of situations. After Jesus went back to heaven and sent the Holy Spirit, these men did not cower back and say, "Well, someone more qualified, or has more time, or whatever, needs to take care of this!" NO! The gates of hell could not stop these men and woman. They no longer said, "Lord this situation is really bad and we can't seem to take care of it." They did what Jesus told them to do to have this kind of spiritual ability. He said, "Fast and pray."