Saturday, May 29, 2010


Do I have compassion on one who is unfortunate beyond his own control?

Am I moved by sorrow to help one who is trapped in the pit of sin, rebellion, and worldly ways?

Am I able to see beyond injury someone did to me, and, in sorrow, be moved to help that one, not just because he wronged me, but that he had it in his heart to wrong me?

Those things are mercy. Mercy never asks if someone deserves mercy, it only asks "is he suffering?"

If it weren't for God's mercy to me, I would still be in those conditions.

"Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy."

Enjoy the spiritual beauty given out
by those who love the Lord.
Visit Spiritual Sundays

God bless,

Friday, May 28, 2010


Recently, I was honored with the Sunshine Award from Helen Ginger at STRAIGHT FROM HEL. It was truly an honor to be given that recognition from an established author, freelance editor, and writers' teacher, coach, and advisor. Thank you so much Helen, I am truly honored.

The Sunshine Award is passed on to followers who bring a ray of sunshine and inspiration to your blog. That would include everyone who follows and/or comments here on INSIDE THE SHRINK, DAILY GRACE, OR PSYCHOBABBLE.

I am proud to pass this award along to two fellow bloggers who inspire me and bring sunshine to my day. The Sunshine Award goes to:

THE OLD GEEZER BLOG Ron White is a seasoned Christian with a fantastic sense of humor. He is a frequent blogger and brings information, food for thought, and challenges to his readers. Hats off to you, Ron. Keep blogging and God bless.

SOLID ROCK OR SINKING SAND Lloyd Cannaday is a committed Christian who is faithful to uplift, encourage, and share his faith. His blog covers a large spectrum of topics that are relevant to everyone living in these times. Applause to you, Lloyd. Keep letting your light shine and God bless.

Take a moment to visit these blogs. You'll be glad you did.


Saturday, May 22, 2010



How do I recover from a personal setback or traumatic experience? The Holy Spirit has revealed to me “the most excellent way” from 1 Corinthians 13, the love chapter, focusing on verse 13: “And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.” (NIV)

When my faith receives a quick blow, it becomes shaken and I lose my spiritual balance. After the initial shock, which befalls nearly all humans who experience trauma, I begin the recovery process. I believe this process is God inspired and will help all those who choose to follow it.


Re-establishing my faith is the first course of action to recovery from trauma. God's Word states in Romans 10:17: “Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ.” (NIV) This is why many people fail to recover or continue to struggle in their recovery. Their faith is not set on the foundation of “the Word,” but is fixed on the trauma that has devastated them. Establishing my faith means I will do my best to put my total trust into the Lord’s will, away from my own selfish will. “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Galatians 2:20 (NIV).


When my faith begins to strengthen me, I then shift my focus from my problem to the Lord Jesus, whose ways are just. He has been waiting for me to get my faith renewed, so that He can plant seeds of hope within my spirit. It is then that I am able to have strength to “reverse” my sense of loss and desperation. Isaiah 40:31 says, “but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.” (NIV) Hope assures me that my Lord will work things out for me.


At this point, you can see I am still thinking about myself. In order to rise above my situation, I must understand what is written in Genesis 50:20: “You (Satan) intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” (NIV) I am obligated to share my faith and hope in spite of my adversity and loss by reaching out to others in love. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 says, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.” (NIV)

Applying the Word of God in this way releases comfort and gives meaning to my adversity. As His child, I have the privilege and duty to obey in faith, hope, and love, with the greatest of these being love.

Bobbi J. Craigmyle, Psy.D. ©1999, ©2010


Do you really want to know what is inside this shrink? Well, I am a bit overwhelmed at all the things in my life that need my time and attention. My mind is constantly catalogging and re-catalogging because at any given moment one of my many "priorities" races itself to the forefront. I have a basic rule-of-thumb priority, but for some reason it gets bumped and shaken at times.

Here are some of the things I'm experiencing physically and emotionally as a result of over
extending myself:

low energy level               stomach problems
worry                                anxiety
increased neck pain          decreased productivity
poor memory                    inability to focus
fragile emotions                tense/preoccupied

My basic rule-of-thumb priority schedule is:
1. God and my relationship to Him
2. My Family (husband, children, grandchildren, & my Shi Tzu, Indivi)
3. My career & extended career (writing)
4. My friends
5. Health & Leisure Activities

I believe the things that suffer the most on my priority list are my family, my friends, and my health & leisure. Because of that, I have this pervasive feeling of guilt alway lurking around that I should change something, but I don't know what and I don't know how. In fact, I am sure that this state of my priority list causes me to be less efficient and successful in my spiritual life and my career goals.

SO.....I have prayerfully sought God and what He would have me to do so that I can set aside those things that easily beset me, get more organized and be able to have the balanced and productive life He wants me to have.

I have several options to deal with my over extended condition.

1. I could do what others and situations in life keep tugging at me to do. But then I would end up in a "heap" unable to even remember my name.

2. I could do what I believe to be the best for my life. Well, that's how I got in this mess in the first place. Obviously, I don't know what is best for myself or I was too busy to really          notice I was drowning in my own busyness. I wasn't even aware that I was doing things my own way. Now that's being way too busy and stressed out.

3. I could let God lead me in the things that are His will for me, like I should have been doing all along, like I wanted to think I was doing all along. When I focus on that for just a moment I can think of several different things right off the bat that I can leave behind.

I am choosing course #3. It may be hard for me to change some of the things I'm doing. It may cause other people to be a little "disgruntled" with me that I'm not doing as I did before. It might feel a bit strange to be doing things differently. But that's okay. God has a plan for my life and I have to follow His plan, I will follow His plan. And I will be closer to Him, closer to my family and friends, and be a better Psychologist and aspiring writer.

"Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 3:13-14 (NIV)

Wednesday, May 19, 2010


Dear Dr. Bobbi,

I recently read an article in the Healthy Living Magazine that gave some tips on how to rid your life of stress. One of the tips was to keep yourself surrounded by positive people and to take charge by staying away from negative people. The article went on to say that negative people affect us whether we realize it or not. I have a problem. I live with a negative person. Avoiding, staying away from this person is not exactly possible. I find myself in the line of fire by this negative person and it leaves me feeling pretty "beat up" and drained. Okay, I am married to this person so it isn't as easy as just moving to get away. I'm feeling a bit trapped here. Can you help me?
                                                                      -Stuck In Standfield

Dear Stuck;

That is a difficult situation, but not an impossible one. Here are a few suggestions that may help you decide what you need to do.

1.  Seek God by prayer and Bible reading. This will give you inner strength to cope and will allow the Lord to shield you from the darts of negativity. Your spouse has a real problem and it's not you. Although the anger is dumped on you, you don't have to accept it.

2.  When the negativity begins, don't get hooked into an argument. It goes nowhere and just escalates the anger. Walk away if possible. Say nothing, or speak kind words softly, such as "I can see this has bothered you a lot."

3.  Suggest to your spouse that (s)he get help for the negativity/anger. This one usually is rejected or provokes more anger so approach it with caution.

4. Give your spouse an ultimatum: Stop the negativity or we can't be together anymore. This is a drastic step and should only be used if there is danger of violence.

5. Leave. The one is to be used only if nothing else has worked and the negativity is destroying your health or has become violent.

God bless you as you prayerfully consider what God wants you to do.
                                                                 Regards, Dr. Bobbi

To the readers out there, is there any other advice you can give to "Stuck"? I'm sure it will be greatly appreciated.

Sunday, May 16, 2010



I asked God to take away my habit.
God said, No.
It is not for me to take away,
But for you to give it up.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole.
God said, No..
His spirit is whole,
his body is only temporary.


I asked God to grant me patience.
God said, No.
Patience is a byproduct of tribulations;
It isn't granted, it is learned.

I asked God to give me happiness.
God said, No.
I give you blessings;
Happiness is up to you.

I asked God to spare me pain.
God said, No.
Suffering draws you apart from Worldly cares
And brings you closer to me.

I asked God to make my spirit grow.
God said, No
You must grow on your own,
But I will prune you to make you fruitful.

I asked God for all things That I might enjoy life.
God said, No.
I will give you life,
So that you may enjoy all things.

I asked God to help me LOVE others,
as much as He loves me.
God said... Ahhhh,
Finally you have the idea.

Author Unknown

Saturday, May 8, 2010


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I've always loved writing and have had numerous people urge me to write. I've written many short non-fiction pieces, most of which have gotten lost in the moves and such. During graduate and post-graduate education, I could whip out a 20-page paper in no time flat, complete with references, in perfect APA style.

I have felt compelled by the Holy Spirit to write especially in the last 3 or 4 years. I have two books well under way that are geared directly to Christian living and Christian growth. In addition to this, a dear friend and I are co-authoring Christian Children's picture books. We have about five that are ready to go and many more on the way. Okay, now what is the first thing we need to do in order to get them published.

Whoa! Was I ever shocked at the process involved in submitting a book for publication. Several book are recommended to get started. These are not little brochure type "how to's" these are huge books. Then there is the search for an AGENT that can help get your work really ready and be the go between for you and the publisher. But one has to send a QUERY letter to the AGENT and the AGENT must be interested in what you have to offer before the AGENT will ask for a PROPOSAL that pretty much summarizes your book and is usually anywhere from 10 - 100 pages.

Do you know there are at least a trillion articles and books out there on how to write a QUERY letter and a book PROPOSAL? I've been collecting and reading and reading. . . . .phewwwww!!
While I'm still in that process of learning how to do a bang up job on those, I found I need to show that I'm qualified to write these works and send small clips or newspaper articles of work I've already published. Already published? What is an AGENT gonna say to my QUERY letter when I say I have never had anything published, but I got a real winner here if you'll just look at it? So now I have to scrounge around my office and computer to locate some writings that will work to send in to some magazines or monthly publications. That's a whole other project in itself. Those sources have their own submission rules and they're all different. UGH!

Now, during my wading through some of this information, I find that I need to make sure I'm not writing something that's already been written or that would not be of interest or that would not bring something new to the market. In order to do that, it is strongly suggested that I become thoroughly familiar with "BOOKS IN PRINT" and "PUBLISHERS WEEKLY" to familiarize myself with what's already out there and what seems to be selling. More reading and returning to those resources because they change and add new information all the time.

I forgot to add that it is essential to belong to one or more writer's organizations and to attend writers' conferences on a fairly regular basis to interact with other writers, potential agents, and just rubbing elbows with those like myself. Let's see, I'm 59 years old now, I estimate I will have accomplished all the above in about 10 - 20 years or so. That puts me up there with Grandma Moses, that is, if I found an AGENT who accepted my QUERY letter and asked for a PROPOSAL and it got past the EDITORIAL COMMITTEE and the PUBLISHING company was willing to take a chance with me.

You know what? I still wanna be a published author. God has called me to do it. I have a message for people. It is worth every second, every ounce of energy, and every tiny hassle to make it happen. God opens doors and no one can shut them. I pray for His favor as I embark on this adventure. I am confident that this is what He wants me to do and He will give me the grace, the ability, and the courage to do it.