I'm sitting at the threshold of a new year. I look back over the last year and see a mixture of good and bad. I think the year 2009 was a year of trouble and forced learning for me. It was a year of extremes in several areas of my life. Along with those extremes came loss and depression. But in contrast, there also came joy and hope. The thing that strikes me most interesting is that those things that resulted in loss and depression caused me to really examine my life, who I really am, what I really want, what I really stand for, what my priorities really are. I was able to find the answers to those things through deep introspection and prayer to God to search me and reveal to me my real self. I did not like what I saw. It was at that point that I had to do something to change me. In doing so, I brought much opposition, ridicule, and stress on myself. That's not a very pleasant thing, but it was more than tolerable because I was able to get my life in line with God and He wiped my conscience clean. There isn't anything that will bring peace to the soul than having a clean conscience. The joys brought to me in the past year are a new grandson, Sawyer, and the news that I have a new grandchild coming in July 2010. It reaffirms to me that life goes on. I can choose to go forward with optimism or live with regret. I choose the former. For the coming year I choose to continue growing spiritually, to reinforce my commitment to my marriage and seek to be a better wife, to spend more time with my children, and to be more a part of the world around me. These aren't New Year's resolutions, these are continuations of where my life has come to this point. I have recognized them and verbalized them and I am commited to them. My New Year's resolution is to get started back into exercise and improve my physical health. Happy New Year to you all.
God bless, Bobbi