What do you do when someone you care about believes you are rejecting them, that you don't care about them, that you are playing games with them? It is very frustrating when I am misunderstood and things I say are taken wrong. It is very hurtful when I try to explain or defend my actions and it's met with "yeh, right" or "uh huh." Resentment builds up in me when I am told how I am feeling and what my motives are when it couldn't be farther from my actual feelings and motives.
It makes my heart ache to have gone the extra mile to show love, care, and concern and have that shoved under the rug and instead all my perceived failings and disappointing behaviors are repeated to me.
I can only finish my tale of woe here by commenting on how someone can take a very important spiritual time in my life that this someone knew was very important to me and try to make it like it was a joke, called it my "little" thing. Said it wasn't legitimate because I called it a fast, when it was actually a self-denial. I know a fast is denial of food for spiritual reasons. This person tells me I am more religious than spiritual. That's just something that hurt very deep.
I'm done getting this off my chest. I am able to write it down without someone interjecting, telling me I'm wrong, or inadequate, or disappointing, or uncaring. That feels better.
2 comments:
I HAVE NEVER MEANT ANYONE IN MY LIFE THAT HAS BEEN MORE WONDERFUL, LOVING AND FULL OF ALL THE "LIGHT" GOD CAN PUT INSIDE SOMEONE TO SHARE WITH OTHERS. THERE ARE ROCKS,STONES,COAL AND SPARKLING GEMS IN THIS WORLD...YOU MY FRIEND ARE A "SPARKLING GEM"! IF A ROCK SAID TO A GEM...."YOUR NOT SPARKLING"..."YOUR NOT AS BRIGHT AS YOU SHOULD BE"..."YOUR NOT WORTH YOUR COST". IT IS STILL BUT A ROCK THAT SAID IT, MAYBE THE ROCK JUST BELONGS IN YOUR BACKYARD WHERE ROCKS GO..AND NOT IN YOUR HEAD OR YOUR HEART.CONCERN NOT YOURSELF WITH ALL THE ROCKS IN YOUR YARD....LESS YOU ARE PICKING THEM UP TO REMOVE THEM. I LOVE YOU SISTER
Don't pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults---unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It's easy to see a smudge on your neighbor's face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, 'Let me wash your face for you,' when your own face is distorted by contempt? It's this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor.
Don't be flip with the sacred. Banter and silliness give no honor to God. Don't reduce holy mysteries to slogans. In trying to be relevant, you're only being cute and inviting sacrilege.
The Message, Matthew 7: 1-6
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