A DRIVE BACK INTO THE PAST

Since I started my vacation on Friday, I made arrangements to take a road trip back to Southern Illinois, where I was born and raised. I went alone, which is something I haven't done in years. It was a very pleasant drive althought all around me to the left and to the right were storms. Right over me was a patch of blue sky. The trip itself is only 292 miles, so it's not a long exhausting trip, just long enough to be long.

My first destination was to meet my childhood neighbor, friend, and schoolmate from grade 1 through grade 12. She is Valla Leifer Klettke from New Jersey. We hadn't seen each other in 40 years. Would we recognize each other? Would we be able to connect from past through the present. Well, I was so pleasantly surprised. We both recognized each other and it was a warm and pleasant greeting. We could have spent days talking about our younger days and catching up on the last 40 years. But the time we spent together was just so very refreshing. We want to do it again at the next available opportunity.

BLAST FROM THE PAST

I RECEIVED AN EMAIL THE OTHER DAY FROM AN OLD HIGH SCHOOL FRIEND. HADN'T HEARD FROM HIM SINCE HIGH SCHOOL. THE FIRST COUPLE OF EMAILS WERE JUST MENTIONING THINGS WE REMEMBERED ABOUT EACH OTHER. HE THEN SENT AN EMAIL THAT CONTAINED SOME PRETTY SPECIFIC THINGS ABOUT WHAT HE HAD GONE THROUGH, ALONG WITH USUAL LIGHTHEARTED STUFF. I JUST HAPPENED TO COMMENT ON THE SPECIFIC THINGS, JUST LETTING HIM KNOW I ACKNOWLEDGED THEM, AND WENT ON TO OTHER FRIENDLY LIGHTHEARTED THINGS ABOUT BEING IN HIGH SCHOOL.

I GOT AN EMAIL BACK FROM HIM THAT SHOCKED ME. HE SAID HE TOLD ME TOO MUCH STUFF, THAT HE DIDN'T NEED TO BE ONE OF MY PATIENTS, AND THAT HE NEEDED TO BE CAREFUL WHAT HE SAID BECAUSE IT ALWAYS COMES BACK TO BITE HIM. HE TOLD ME THAT HE HAD NEVER DONE ANYTHING TO ME, JUST WANTED TO KEEP IT FRIENDLY AND LIGHTHEARTED.

WHOA! I RESPONDED THAT I DIDN'T INTEND TO MAKE HIM UNCOMFORTABLE, I APOLOGIZED AND SAID I ALSO PREFERRED TO KEEP IT FRIENDLY AND LIGHTHEARTED.

HE EMAILED BACK AND SAID HE JUST DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY ANYMORE, HE FEARED THAT I WOULD ANALYZED EVERYTHING HE SAID AND HE DIDN'T THINK SHARING THE THINGS HE DID WOULD COME BACK TO BITE HIM. SO HE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE BETTER TO JUST CALL IT A TOUCH BASE WITH THE PAST AND NOW JUST END IT WITH A GENTLE GOODBYE.

I EMAILED HIM BACK AND TOLD HIM I AGREE. NO POINT IN TRYING TO MAINTAIN AN EMAIL FRIENDSHIP IF HE WAS UNCOMFORTABLE AND DIDN'T FEEL HE COULD TRUST ME. I ENDED THE EMAIL BY SAYING IT WAS NICE TO HEAR FROM HIM AND TO TAKE CARE.

I IMMEDIATELY GOT AN EMAIL BACK WITH HIM SAYING, "I'M CONFUSED, WHY ARE YOU ENDING THIS SO LIGHTLY, I THOUGHT YOU HAD SOME FIGHT IN YOU."

MY FIRST THOUGHT HERE IS THAT THIS GUY IS SOME KIND OF PARANOID. TO REACT THE WAY HE DID, PULL WAY BACK, THEN SAY WE NEED TO JUST STOP COMMUNICATING, THEN TELL ME HE'S CONFUSED WHEN I AGREE. GAME PLAYING. I HAD NO INTENTION OF BECOMING HIS THERAPIST, LORD KNOWS I HAVE ENOUGH PATIENTS. THEN FEARING I WOULD TAKE WHAT HE TOLD ME AND USE IT AGAINST HIM. IF ANYONE IS CONFUSED HERE, ITS ME. WHAT IS WITH THIS GUY?

MY CONCLUSION WAS TO DELETE HIS EMAILS, HIS EMAIL ADDRESS, AND NOT RESPOND TO HIS LAST EMAIL. I SAID GOOD BYE IN MY LAST EMAIL TO HIM. I DON'T NEED THIS KIND OF INTERACTION. TOO HEAVY FOR ME. GOT OTHER STUFF IN MY LIFE I WANT TO SPEND MY ENERGY ON.